11 Plus Story, Recount or Description: What’s the Difference?

I’ve run my Facebook group for around ten years and read more children’s writing submissions than I could count. Yet I could probably count on one hand the short pieces that have felt like genuinely complete, satisfying stories.

That isn’t because children lack imagination. It’s because they’re often taught that a story needs a beginning, middle and end without being taught what needs to happen between them.

The other problem is that story writing, recount writing and description are often bundled together as ‘creative writing’. Children then use the same approach for all three. They add adjectives, adverbs and literary devices, but they haven’t always answered the given task.

A child can write some lovely sentences and still miss the brief. That matters in the 11 Plus because a story, a recount and a description do different jobs.

If you need a broader overview first, read my quick guide to 11 Plus writing genres.

Why Do Children Mix Up Stories, Recounts and Descriptions?

Children are often taught techniques one at a time. They learn adjectives. They learn adverbs. They learn similes, metaphors and personification. Then they’re told to put those things into their writing.

Knowing those devices exist is important. Treating them as a shopping list isn’t.

The first question shouldn’t be, ‘How many literary devices have I used?’ It should be, ‘What have I actually been asked to write?’

If the task asks for a story, something needs to happen. If it asks for a recount, the child needs to retell an experience in a clear order. If it asks for a description, the place, object, person or picture needs to be the ‘centre’ of that piece.

What Is an 11 Plus Story?

A story isn’t simply a character doing one thing after another.

‘I woke up, went to school and came home’ has a beginning, middle and end. It still isn’t much of a story.

In a story, the character should want or need something, and there should be a reason why it matters to them. Something must stand in the way, and failing must have a consequence. The ending should then grow from what the character does, decides or realises. A sudden rescue, lucky coincidence or new character appearing from nowhere might finish the events, but it doesn’t provide a satisfying resolution.

This doesn’t mean a timed 11+ story needs several characters, three disasters and an enormous twist. Usually, the opposite is true. One clear problem and an ending that feels connected to it will work better than a complicated plot that can’t be finished because of lack of time in a test.

Why Beginning, Middle and End Isn’t Enough

Beginning, middle and end tells a child that a story has three parts. It doesn’t tell them what those parts need to do.

A child might spend half a page introducing the weather, the character’s clothes and the route to school. Something finally happens near the bottom of the page, and the ending is rushed into one sentence because time has run out.

The part that matters most has received the fewest words.

A simple question can help: ‘What is the important thing that happens in this story?’ If the child can’t answer that clearly, the reader might struggle to find the story too because there probably isn’t an actual ‘story’ there.

Description Inside a Story Must Fit What Is Happening

Description belongs in stories, but it shouldn’t delay an unimportant action or interrupt an important part of the story.

Imagine that Jennifer is simply going downstairs for breakfast:

Jennifer crept down the creaking, antiquated blue stairs and tiptoed into the kitchen to devour her humongous breakfast.

Why is she creeping? Why do the stairs need three descriptions? Is there danger downstairs, or is she only going to eat some cereal?

If nothing important is happening, ‘Jennifer scooted downstairs for breakfast’ might be all the reader needs.

I once set a story writing task called ‘I Was the One Who Ran’. The idea was that a character ran away, left a friend in a horrible situation, realised what they’d done and went back. One child wrote about running from a vicious dog, but stopped during the chase to describe a beautiful sunset.

The sunset wasn’t the problem by itself. The problem was that somebody fleeing a vicious dog probably wouldn’t pause to admire it. The description didn’t fit what was happening.

What Is an 11 Plus Recount?

A recount retells something that happened, usually in the order in which it happened. It’s commonly written in the past tense. When children recount their own experiences, they should usually write in the first person.

A recount might describe a school trip, a frightening experience, a special day or a time the writer made a mistake. It can include feelings and description, but it doesn’t typically need the same structure as a story.

Children sometimes make recount writing harder than it needs to be. If the task allows it, I often suggest they draw on something they’ve genuinely experienced. They already know what happened, what they noticed and how they felt. They don’t have to invent every detail under exam pressure.

Oak National Academy describes a recount as telling what happened in chronological order and warns that children don’t need to include every detail. They need to choose the parts that matter. You can read its recount-writing guidance here.

Why I Call It a Narrative Recount

Parents might see the terms ‘recount’ or ‘recount writing’. In our writing course, I call it a narrative recount because the child is still writing about a sequence of events.

It has a narrative, in the everyday sense, of one thing happening and then another. However, that doesn’t automatically make it a short story.

A recount might say, ‘We arrived at the beach, unpacked the car and realised we’d left the picnic at home.’ That could be funny, frustrating and worth retelling. It doesn’t need a villain, a dramatic battle and a carefully planted twist.

The child should choose the events that matter, keep them in a clear order and finish with the outcome or a brief reflection.

What Is 11 Plus Descriptive Writing?

A description keeps the reader’s attention on a place, person, object or scene. A picture prompt might show a landscape, an empty street, a storm or an old house.

The child doesn’t always need to add a human character. In fact, introducing somebody who walks into the picture, opens a door and discovers a secret might turn the piece into a story.

If the picture shows a haunted house, the house itself can become almost like the character. Its windows, roof, door, shape, age and surroundings can give it a personality. The weather and light can change how it feels.

The writing is still in the third person. A thing or place can be a third-person subject: ‘The house leaned towards the unmade road. Its broken windows stared into the dense fog.’ There’s no ‘I’, ‘he’, ‘she’ or ‘they’ acting as a viewpoint character.

A clear plain-English description is ‘third-person description with no viewpoint character’. The child is describing the scene from outside it.

Does a Description Need Anything to Happen?

A description doesn’t need a story problem, but it shouldn’t feel like a random list.

The child might begin with the whole landscape, then notice the house and finally focus on one broken window. The weather might worsen. Daylight might fade. The reader might notice details that make the place feel less welcoming as the description continues.

That gives the piece somewhere to go without sending a character through the front door.

Movement can still exist within description: rain can batter the sagging roof; branches can scrape the ivy-covered walls; a filthy net curtain can twitch behind the broken glass. Those details belong to the place, image or picture being described. They don’t begin a separate adventure that turns the description into a story or recount.

When Literary Devices Become a Tick List

A parent recently sent me feedback that a smashing writer on our course had received after a mock test. The written feedback was scant, but there was a box recording whether the child had used a long list of literary devices. It included adjectives, adverbs, personification and the usual Key Stage 2 features.

Another parent showed me advice from a tutor. It said:

Adverbs – use as many as you can.

Adjectives – use as many as you can.

It then went on to list all the usual devices, saying they must be used in each piece.

I think that’s poor teaching.

A list can remind children that these devices exist. It shouldn’t tell them to use every device in every piece, or to use as many as possible.

The important question is whether the word or device helps that piece. Is it relevant right now, or am I forcing it in because I’ve been told to do so? Does it make the picture clearer? Does it help the reader understand the character? Does it make an important part of my writing frightening, funny, sad or tense? A writer needs to learn when a word or device will help the sentence, rather than forcing it in anywhere.

I hope exam markers use any mark scheme with good judgement. A child shouldn’t receive more credit merely because they’ve squeezed in five adjectives, four adverbs and three similes. The examiner should recognise whether those choices actually improve the writing.

Why More Adjectives and Adverbs Don’t Mean Better Writing

Children sometimes seem frightened of ordinary words. Blue becomes cerulean. Green becomes verdant. A simple path becomes a meandering, ancient, emerald pathway whether the sentence needs any of that information or not.

There’s nothing wrong with ‘cerulean’ or ‘verdant’ when the word is accurate and sounds natural. The problem is choosing it because a thesaurus suggested it and assuming it can replace every use of ‘blue’ or ‘green’.

A thesaurus gives related words. It doesn’t know the sentence, the character or what’s happening; it has no context. Children should check the exact meaning and read the complete sentence aloud, or have MS Word or a similar program read it back to them. Hearing your writing is a brilliant editing method they can practise at home, and one I suggest in our writing course.

The same applies to adverbs. Instead of writing ‘I ran quickly’, the child could write ‘I sprinted’. One precise verb says more in fewer words.

I wouldn’t ban adverbs. Sometimes one is exactly right. In a short 11+ story, though, I’d rather see one well-chosen adverb than a string of them attached to weak verbs.

Stephen King famously warned that ‘the road to hell is paved with adverbs’. That doesn’t mean a child must never use one. It means they shouldn’t rely on them to do work that a stronger verb could do. The quotation is attributed to King in this Penguin Random House discussion of writing and grammar.

Story, Recount or Description? Three Simple Questions

If your child isn’t sure what they’ve written, ask these questions.

Story – What does the character want, and why does it matter? What gets in the way, and what will happen if they fail? Does the ending grow from something the character does, decides or realises, rather than a lucky rescue that comes from nowhere?

If the answer is only, ‘They walk around while I describe things,’ the piece might not contain much of a story.

Recount – What experience is being retold?

Can the child choose the most important parts, put them in order and finish with what happened or how they felt?

Description – What do you want the reader to picture?

Does that place, object, person or scene stay at the heart of the piece, or has an added character taken over and begun a story?

Common 11 Plus Writing Mistakes

These are some of the problems I see repeatedly:

·       The story spends too long describing an ordinary journey from one place to another.

·       The important problem appears too late, and the ending is rushed.

·       The child stops during danger or action to describe something they wouldn’t realistically notice.

·       The recount includes every small event rather than the parts that really matter.

·       The description introduces a character who takes over and turns it into a story.

·       Adjectives and adverbs are added because the child thinks that ‘more’ must mean ‘better’.

·       Literary devices are shoehorned in to satisfy a checklist.

·       A thesaurus word is used even though it doesn’t sound natural in the sentence.

The Brief Comes First

A child might write well and still answer the wrong question.

Before they plan, ask them to underline the task word. Are they being asked to write, recount, continue, describe, explain or persuade? Then look at the subject and any audience given in the brief.

Only after that should they decide which details, vocabulary and literary devices might help.

For more on how the reader changes a piece of writing, read 11+ Writing: Why Audience Matters.

Need Help with 11 Plus Writing?

The 11 Plus Creative Writing Course currently covers story writing, narrative recount, description, SPaG and literary devices. Children also receive personal feedback on submitted writing and can attend monthly live teaching sessions.

You can find out more about the 11 Plus Creative Writing Course here.